Parents ask a lot of questions and it drives teens crazy. Despite what
teen culture says parents don’t make inquiries in order to invade your
privacy or control what you do. Parents ask questions because they care,
because they’ve been a teen and want to spare you some of the more
unpleasant experiences that seem to be common during adolescence, and
because they want to keep you safe.
It is not a verbally inquisitive
invasion of privacy that prompts your parents to ask, where you’re
going, what will you be doing, when you expect to be home, and who
you’ll be with, no, parents ask these things for one simple reason –
they want to protect you. So it is a sad reality that many teens lie to
their parents when they are asked questions about their plans. If you
lie to your parents it could be yourself that you are harming the most.
Why?
Not only does lying to your parents damage their trust but it has the
potential to put you in real danger. Let’s look at the four most common
questions parents ask that teens lie about and examine how being
anything but truthful could harm you in the end.
Common Question 1:
"Where are you going?"
The reason teens think parents ask this question.
The three most common reasons teens think parents ask this question are;
to be nosey, to stop them from going, or to know where to go to check
up or spy on them.
The real reason parents ask this question.
Parents really ask this question so that they can be sure that where you
are going is safe, suitable for somebody your age and properly
supervised. While it is possible that your parents would stop you from
going somewhere unsafe, unsuitable or poorly supervised their motive for
asking is not to ruin your fun but to make sure that you won’t be put
in harms way.
The danger to YOU if you answer this question with a lie.
Teens who believe that their parents wouldn’t allow them to go where
they want to go will often lie when asked this question, but lying could
have some dire consequences. If you feel you have to lie about where
you are going you should take a moment to reflect about why you are
lying, do you know that where you want to go could pose a danger, even a
remote one, and is this why you are covering up? If you lie to your
parents about where you will be you put yourself at risk of not being
able to get help if you need it, of your parents not being able to
locate you if there is an emergency, of them being unable to give
accurate information to law enforcement if something happens to you, and
you will be more likely to engage in further risky behavior in order to
keep your lie from coming to light. One example, if you lie about going
to an un-chaperoned house party and find that your ride home is too
drunk to drive you may be more likely get in their car because calling
your parents for a safe ride home would expose the lie.
Common Question 2:
"What will you be doing?"
The reason teens think parents ask this question.
Again, the most common reasons that teens think parents ask this
question is to invade their privacy or to exercise control over what
they will be doing.
The real reason parents ask this question.
The reasons that parents ask this question are very similar to the
reasons they ask where you are going; namely, they want to be sure you
will not be taking unnecessary risks and that you will be safely
supervised.
The danger to YOU if you answer this question with a lie.
When you lie to your parents about what you will be doing you may think it is harmless, after all if you are truthful about where you will be what does it matter what
you plan to do while your there? But there are several things that can
go wrong when you lie about what you will be doing. You may be afraid to
tell your parents if something bad happens, you may be afraid to ask
for their help during a crisis or unforeseen event because of your lie,
and you may make it impossible for your parents to help you if you’re
hurt since they won’t have an accurate picture about what led up to your
injury. Also, if you lie about what you are doing chances are good that
you shouldn’t be doing it and regardless of whether your parents ask
you for details or not this should be enough to give you pause about
your plans.
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