I Don't Want to Fight With My Parent's Anymore
- Slow down and think.
Taking things a bit slower lets you recognize and sort through your
feelings as they happen. If you can recognize that you're feeling
annoyed or angry, you may be better able to keep yourself from taking it
out on Mom or Dad.
- Count to 10.
This is another method for getting yourself to slow down and
think about how you feel before you act. Take a deep breath, count
slowly, then ask yourself how you feel and why. You may realize that
it's not the best time to criticize your Dad's opinion, for example, and
help yourself out by picking a better time to discuss your point of
view with him.
- Think of a way that your parents have helped or pleased you.
Everyone acts like a monster sometimes and an angel at others. Try to
remember a time when your parents were being as wonderful as ever to
balance out the negative feeling you're having about them at the moment.
- Remind yourself that fighting usually doesn't solve problems.
You may not be feeling particularly rational, but try to use your
head: Will picking a fight help resolve the situation at hand, or is
there perhaps a better way? How can you address the issue calmly and
with a clear head?
- Don't be so hard on yourself.
So your dad's angry about your grades or your mom doesn't like your
boyfriend or girlfriend. They're entitled to their opinions, but their
opinions don't make you a bad person. You're allowed to have your own
opinions, too. Use them wisely.
- Consider what else is going on in your parents' lives.
Does your dad have the flu? Is your mom overworked? If they're
behaving badly, it's no excuse, but it does give you some insight into
why they might be more difficult than usual to get along with at the
moment. Try to cut 'em some slack.
- Consider what else is going on in your own life.
Are you not feeling well or reeling from a fight with a friend? Cut
yourself some slack, too. Don't let your feelings about other events and
people color how you treat your family members -- or anyone else, for
that matter. You'd probably hate it if they did that to you, right?
- Politely remind others that you need a little space.
If you can, calmly let your parents know you're feeling
frustrated or moody and that it might be best for them to bring up
touchy issues at another time. If they're not cooperating, try to set a
time and place to talk later, when you're in a better mood.
Tips:
- All
fights can't be avoided, and sometimes a fight is needed to work out an
issue. However, you should be proud of yourself when you succeed in
keeping your emotions in check: It's a tough skill but a useful one.
- Remember, your parents are people, too -- people who make mistakes, just like you.
- If you can, find another way of getting out your anger and frustration, such as exercise, art or music. You may find that it improves your relationships with others and/or makes you a calmer person in general.
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